When I started writing Mr. Monkey Loves You, I had my dad in mind from the beginning. He doesn't always say the right thing or show love in the most obvious ways, but you know deep down he'd do anything for you. Growing up, I never doubted that he loved me, but I often felt he loved me in his own version of love rather than in the version I needed, and that gap became the seed of this entire story.
That's really what Mr. Monkey is about. Loving someone isn't just about giving, but also about understanding. You might think you're being thoughtful, but if you never took the time to really know the person you love and just keep bringing them flowers without realizing they're allergic, that's not love. That's just doing what you want to do. Mr. Monkey learns this the hard way, and so do a lot of us.
What makes him special to me is that even when he gets it wrong, he doesn't give up. He stumbles and there are moments when everything feels heavy, but he gets back up and tries again with a little more understanding than he had before. I think most of us can relate to that. Most of us have loved someone and still somehow gotten it wrong.
When the book was done, I gave it to my dad and told him it was kind of about him. He read it, guffawed, and said, "See? Because of me, you ended up writing a real good story. So being the way I am, it's not all bad." And he was right.
So for anyone reading this, please don't assume you know how the people in your life want to be loved. Talk to them and ask them, because that's a huge part of love.
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